Legally divorced.  Finally.  A long overdue formality.  I have been anxiously awaiting this day for years now.  I carried around the idea that with the arrival of this piece of paper would come some profound celebration and release.  But the truth of the matter is, I felt nothing.  I was overcome with indifference.  I was happy nor sad.  I just was.  This led to great perplexity and even a little bit of irritation.  Why was I not jumping up and down, calling all my friends, or poppin a bottle of bubs???  I succumed instead to sitting quietly and contemplated what those words meant to me.  I came to the realization that besides giving me the ability to marry another, they represented nothing.  For what this document legally unbound me from, I had already unwoven myself from physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  In my heart, my divorce was solidified many moons ago.  I didn't need this piece of paper to make that real.

This led me to a series of other questions...what value does marriage hold for me now?  Is it really the ultimate commitment?  Do I (we) need that piece of paper to confirm my (our) devotion to another human?  Are we as a species inherently designed to be monogamous forever?

Through the process of ending my marriage, I've come to the understanding that change is the only thing we can ever count on. Nothing is permanent.  Sometimes, time expires a relationship.  Two as one stop working.  Hearts get broken.  But wounds heal, and life moves on.  There is no shortage of love in the world.  I know that now.  And how glorious life can be if we allow ourselves to love fearlessly with out expectation or attachment to forever.  Because forever is false and today is the truth.  Embrace the present and give from the heart.  From the place, you will find true freedom.

Peace to you, my once upon a time lover.