Several years ago, I had another blog. And like many blogs, it got lost in the ethers of the cyber world. Although it was very short lived - only 3 months, it was an intense and healing practice for me. At the time, I was raising 3 children alone - one being an infant, recovering from a shattered marriage, and dealing with the death of my brother. To say it was the dark night of my soul is an understatement. Anyhow, I was lying in bed this morning pondering gratitude, feeling so full of love and was led back to a post from that blog. Turns out I had written it on this exact date 5 years ago. It is interesting because even though my challenges are different today, and thankfully not as intense, my sentiments are still the same. We are always giving thanks to the things that make us feel good and not giving thanks enough for the things that make us hurt. There are gifts to be found in both, equally valuable. This year, take some time to honor the things that you typically wouldn't recognize. Send blessings to those you normally wouldn't. Give thanks to the things on the other side of the light. For without them, the good wouldn't be so bright.
November 25, 2009
Tis’ the season to be Thankful. Of course I, along with everyone else, am ever so grateful for all the obvious things in my life, family and friends, health and prosperity. But this year, I am feeling extra thankful for the things on the other side of that spectrum.
For the tears I have cried and the pain I have suffered. For all the lonely nights I sobbed myself to sleep, hoping that I wouldn’t awake again to the nightmare I called my life. For the ache in my heart when watching my children suffer through their crumbling reality. For the loss of my marriage and my best friend. For having my entire life dream torn to pieces. For the anger of being taken advantage of for so many years. For the sense of not feeling good enough. For being humiliated. For being abandoned.
Everyone of these things I am grateful for. I wouldn’t want any of it to be any different. Because through all this tribulation, I have discovered myself. I was left with nowhere to turn but inside. I was forced to retreat to the dark corners of my soul and somehow learn how to light my own fire. The road was rough and the journey long; but I am still standing, and now, because of it, a bit higher on the mountain. And from up here, the veil of illusion is a little more obvious. I am able to better understand that at the end of the day, nothing really matters but love. And not so much, who loved you, but how well you loved others.
So today, I give thanks for the challenges life has to offer and embrace them with loving arms. Thank you to those who have hurt me, with or without intention; I love you. Thank you Majestic Spirits for holding my hands through my life adversity; I love you. Thank you dear Friends for being my inspiration and listening to me cry; I love you. And most importantly, thank you Great Father/Mother God for giving me this Earthly life and the opportunity to experience such an incredible journey; I love you. I am and will be, eternally grateful…