Beer at 2 on a Tuesday.
A cold beer at 2 on a Tuesday. It's true. That's what happened for me today. And damn, it was nice. Both the flavor and the feeling. Oh, and it was called California Blonde...ha, no irony there. We were destined to be together. I know what you are thinking..."oh my god, has she turned to drinking to process her problems?" Of course not! I just decided as I was ordering the best steak tacos in the world from my long-time friend James Haggo, that I wanted a beer. At 2pm. On a Tuesday. So I ordered one. Because I can. Because I can do anything in the goddamn world that I want. Because I am the designer of my destiny and my life choices are mine to make. And that's the truth.
I am constantly having to remind myself of that. That there is no dictator that sits above me controlling my imaginary puppet strings. It's me. It's always been me. Only me. The designated director of my own play. I choose the players, I choose the place. And it's a choice I wake up to everyday. A choice in which I get to ask myself, how do I want to show up to the world today? To myself? To my lover? To my children? To my family? To my friends?
A good friend shared with me the other day something she heard in a yoga class recently: "Focus not on the outcome but on the dedication to your intention." This had me thinking, well what the hell is my intention?? Obviously my daily intentions differ depending on the circumstance. But what is my intention on a grander scale? What is the one intention that I want to be fully committed to everyday in all moments regardless of circumstance? Truth. Yep, truth.
And what does truth mean for me? Well, let me first tell you what is doesn't mean... I'll start by saying that I am very about clear who I am. At my deepest most pure place. I am light. Pure light. I am love. Pure love. I am, as you all are, a spiritual being. But I don't alway show up for myself or others in that form . Sometimes, or many times, or let's be honest, probably most times, my human form forces it's way to the surface. It bears it's ugly egotistical head. And this results in me not shining from my brightest place. So what my truth isn't then, is inauthentic. And what my truth is then, is raw. It is real. It is present. It is human. Key word here - human. While I would love to tell you that I am always able to live in the light and never operate from a place of fear, that would be a lie. A lie to me, a lie to you. Because the fact is, I am a human and I do have an ego and sometimes I'm scared. Clarification, often I'm scared. But it is in those moments of fear, where my light leads the way. It is in those moments of fear where I call to my courage. It is in those moments of fear are where I am forced to forge a new path.
My choice and intention then for today and everyday, is truth. My human truth. Which is my real truth here on earth. And I also choose to feel safe enough to say, I feel jealous. Or I feel mad. Or I feel hurt. Or I feel scared. Even when it is scary to share because I am unsure of what will meet me on the other side. Because anything other than this, wouldn't be true. It doesn't mean that I want to foster those feelings that stem from fear. It just simply means that I want to be truthful in saying that they are there. Because I think by shining light on them, I am in turn able to move through them. Making more space for me to drop back into that place of living from love.
So thank you fellow human participants for honoring my truth...which isn't always a presentation of my true essence. And thank you for being brave enough to speak your own truth. And therefore paving the path for our children and those yet to come to be authentic to their own reality. I love you for you. I hope you love me for me too. Even when my truth is choosing to drink a beer at 2 on a Tuesday.